Tonight I am scheduled to be sharing and speaking at a youth gathering where many hungry teens are coming in search of spiritual bread. Teens from a very rough community. Teens from very broken homes, with broken lives and many scars. Every one of them has struggles, every one of them knows pain, and every one of them is desperately crying out for a different way. A better way than what their parents have known. A better way than what they see daily in their High School that includes a daycare because of the many, many teen pregnancies. A better way than the gangs , drugs, depression, and endless pursuit of fleshly fulfillment. I become weary of seeing such hopelessness. I saw it written on so many faces in Malawi. I see it here, too.
This morning as I'm preparing my heart and mind for this, I am overwhelmed. Crying out to God, tears pouring down my face, a distressed heart exclaims, "Oh, Abba! Look at me..I am so inadequate. I don't have the words to speak. I have all these dreams, all these aspirations. I want to change the world, I want to inspire others, I want to feed the hungry and bring hope to the hopeless all over the world. Yet all I can do is speak an empty message. At best I can entertain them with some stories and experiences that I've had in Africa last Summer. Perhaps I could touch there emotions a bit, make them laugh or maybe even cry. I can say what they want to hear, what they've heard a thousand times. I can take the easy way out and never really get into the deep, intense, real issues. That's all I can do. I simply cannot impact them in any lasting way. I can't touch their spirit, I can't convict them, I can't make them experience extravagant, all-powerful acceptance, love, grace, and purpose. I can't change anything about their lives or circumstances. I can't. I am unworthy to even be up there speaking, I don't have it all together. My life is messy, I have too many problems of my own, how can I address theirs? God.....I need you."
Inadequate, unworthy, weak, afraid. I sit in silence and quiet my soul. A few moments pass before I hear a small voice speaking to my whole being. This is what He said, "Beloved. You are mine. I have put my words in your mouth, it is I who called you, and I who will finish the work I began. Do not worry about what you will say or do, simply abide. Meditate on my promises. I keep all my promises, every last one. Remember how I used shepards, uneducated fishermen, and small children to further my kingdom. Not because of their works, but because of my sovereignty." As my soul soaked up His words..He continued softly. "You are inadequate. And don't ever forget it. Because the second you start thinking you have it all together, that is the moment I cannot use you for my glory. I reveal myself through the humble, the broken, and the inadequate. Your mess doesn't intimidate me, I came for the messy. And always remember...I still use Davids, to defeat Goliaths."
If you listen closely, I believe you will find He is saying the same to you today. Wherever you are, wherever you're at in life, He promises to be there with you. He has a plan and a purpose for you, right now. You aren't at this point in life by accident. His desire is that we learn to trust, abide, and surrender where He has you, because His perfect timing is now. You don't have to have it all together, you don't have to try to clean up your mess before you come to Him, you don't have to speak eloquently to make a difference, you don't have to be strong or fearless. You don't even have to feel adequate. Because we're not. But He is.
